Lotus

He loves me

He loves me not

Beautiful, familiar

He is a stranger in his eloquence

Where is my heart without him?

But when shall he know the heart

that is within?

Our little smiles, familiar sweetness

To cover the distance

of lies.

Lies not to lie, not to hurt,

But to protect

myself

of the terrible unknown

He speaks of love

Have we ever gauged the depth

of one to another?

To uncover we stand

face to face

hope for grace

This transfer of energy

is no easy task,

just hoping that one day

The faces will fall away

The days will melt away

the glances will carry a gift

from one to the other

The man will stand up

The woman won’t back down

We will stand

I love him

I love him not

Fuzzy but fading

funny but failing

Honorable, Gold

in the light

Does he stand in the darkness?

Is this laugh superficial?

That deep laugh, rising from his chest

The realest joy I’ve ever felt

That smile when he just

loses all control of his expression

His joy- do I have the strength to make him smile?

He won’t call, unless there is a reason

I am dying to hear his voice

you think this is a lie?

If not love, its at least addiction.

The eyes, deep black

reaching out to take me in

For once let me sink to my knees

and cry.

You are still there

And you are still golden

And you are still the best

So let me be yours.

I love you.

And am willing to believe

despite the difference

and the futility,

You love me.

16^th July 2010