Service, or Purpose

Returning from night-time preparations for Homecoming activities with a bustling group of Seniors: This is a moment I cherish in the flow of seasons of being what I am. 

Caught between the service to others and explosion of chaotic creativity that causes me to rush at all directions and yet find myself still, in that place where a beautiful world is whirling around in its own rhythm offering us passage to opportunities beyond what our meek imaginations claim. 

A chance to put up that model-ship mast, decorate that wedding tent in flowers, join my voice in the chorus of a bonding song; all calling me to take part in a bigger piece of art which forms the framework of the world. 

For in each little stitch, each little step I take, each load I lift, I paint a little more of the monotonous with a stroke of heartfelt interest. The masterpiece of our cumulative un-synchronized efforts begins to weave the path of survival through the tragedies of the past into a way through the future. 

A million tragedies are met by a billion hopes for the future; in broken homes and fading languages, empty libraries and homeless men, we can find a nascent child, a home to fill, a hand to hold.

This is the sketch I see, and in myself I see a tool to begin painting. I am untrained and inexperienced. But I enter the world with an open mind, a passion for human progress and a mentality of solving problems and giving my all to any work I do.

Wages

How long will this go on

a lie within a lie, game within the truth

Hassled bundles of emotion

Haggled together to find relief

Friction caused to bind the thief

to the robbed

and the stolen.

Worthless fought with earnest work

to keep somehow something shape or form

Laughter plagues the bedraggled ears

of chaos, Instantaneous; Tears

fight me back with mortal wounds

Over and over I plead guilty

Leave me to my own defects

Pain cannot envelope this grief

So the tragedy remains dry and tasteless

Walked through the days repeat

Back these roads are wry and paceless

Stuck between the greenly pages

These horrors can’t be rendered faceless

Masochistic optimism

draws in the flies like to a prison

Beating in a restless soul

Sell to me a glassless prism

Lit up enough

to light the sky

Free the pond’s delinquent cry

End the race and kill the die

Bird for stone and rock for sky.

31^st August 2010

Woman

Women are beautiful
Was there ever any doubt?
And when they step like a flower
To the light
And as I wander
So aim-less-ly
We may safely say
That she is I and I am she
Womanhood.
Is a state of red blood
And fair skin
Tough love
and hard faith
And no home
will ever be as home to me
As the home
a woman
makes for me.

May 1st 2010

Cocoon

The running, the screaming
The friends and the teaming
Your cries, and my lies
Your laughter so harsh
to my ears.

This talking,
not walking
Sitting, tick-tocking
Your faces so blind
to my fears.

This moment not stopping
My clattering talking
Till your hand comes to rest
on my tears.

Some slowing,
Some stopping,
Quiet and rocking
wiping, and soothing
slowing,
then stopping.

Peace swallows chaos,
Takes chaos in its arms and puts it to sleep,
and there in cocoons, the chaos blooms,
and grows into blossoms of a better kind of light,
and there in cocoons, the chaos blooms
and forms the foundation of a better kind of life.

16th April 2010

Well

Do you see the lights
Shivering in the darkness
at the edge of the water?
How much warmer the reflections
seem to be upon the well water;
Beckoning warmth from you heart
to fill the shivery depths of the well
and light the rims of that round
chasm of water.
-like gold rings to protect you
a ring of fire encircling you
in the darkness
How the rings of light
are cast upon the age-old stone
drawing me to the middle of the well
Leaves and murk drift in the water
Leaves flutter with the fish of darkness
And the snails snuggle
along the muddy ground, with sharp
stones and the water of the well.
Forgotten garlands of marigold
float in the water
Twisting and tangling as if to strangle
some hopeful throat that reaches
for that warmth
of the candle
on the step
next to the water.
My feet are wet
and my toes snuggle in the soft mud
That glows faintly like glory
In that stout candle’s flame
So brave, in this dimly lit cavern
of the well.
The water is cold
And my clothes are dried of sweat
Do you know how much I love you?
The candle won’t burn forever
And the light won’t last the cold
It is time for bed
So sink you’re knees
in the mud with me
Wet our foreheads with the light
that is reflected from the candlelight.
The ripples leave my fingers as if
stealing my love
and chasing it up the well walls
in ringlets of light
that go playing up the wall of stone
Leave your jewels in the water
Leave you jewels in the water
See the hidden crickets chirping
a nightsong silently to me.
They tell me of my dream
And lies I’ve believed,
the candlelight is waking me up,
before I bury my feet in the cold mud
I cut off my hair
where it bothers me most
And tie the rest back.
I cover myself in the shawl
I wrap it around my shoulders and arms
I get out of that water of the well
I heat and fireflies poach the water
from my feet and my toes are warm.
I step into my shoes
I leave the well
I love you
I love you
But do not turn around to look back
into the depth of that well
and its little lights
That candle will go out
in its own time.
No need to sing that song again
You know where to go
And so do I
You know where to go
And so do I.

Priyanka
Jan. 2010

Flutterfly

Fluttering
Flattering
Settling Jitterfly
Jingling
Jungling
Glittering Jewelfly
Spiraling
Sprinkling
flowering Flutterfly
Bumbling
Nectaring
Hovering Suckerfly
Windy sigh
flowers die
Sailing by a Butterfly.

Season

Did they tell you?
Did they tell you the news yet?
There is a change of season.
A change in the decade,
colors in the sky.
People too, are turning red
and white, and dead.
There is light in the sky
but it is not of the stars,
but more of the scars
which are borne by the earth-
this green planet upon which we live.
This beautiful scarred planet of life.
Yes, a change of season
that leaves the icy mountains
and is riding down the wind.
It loves to chase and scatter the hopes we have built
in the stagnant air.
Thirst slowly drives us mad
as the fires of humanity
are extinguished and driven down;
the last portraits of empire
slowly fade away.
Here I am walking
from one room to another
in the care of myself or another.
I seem to exist
for a fraction of a second,
a flutter of a leaf,
a sheaf of candle flame
that is so slowly falling
to the ground,
to settle among the other leaves
of passing seasons.
There is a change of season,
did you hear?
And people are changing-
red, white ... and blue.
There is a place where these colors paint the sky with beauty
An overflowing of paint
upon fresh young flesh
vibrating and alive,
and shining with all the colors of the earth.
These are the children our race
Standing among the reds and browns of fallen leaves
and dirt.
These are the painted children
who are rising up among the ashes of our fire
To stand like rainbow silhouettes, against the sunset.
These are the winged children
who take flight
upon the driving winds of change
These are the gold and silver
the light and shadow
the sunshine and stone
of the future.
These are the children
that reach beyond this black block of time
that step through the waterfall of age
and fall of autumn leaves.
These are the children
of the seasons
And the light of the world.
4th Dec. 09

Leaving

I say to the sun
as it runs me by
if it will stay
to say goodbye.
'Oh no, I never do.
Because I am a flame
And I ride by round and round
blazing through the stars
You see me
when you're eyes
are open
looking for a ride
to the skies.'
So I said yes.
I see you coming; I see you going
I will be there
at the neck of the next wind,
and follow the flame
of your ruthless eyes
but for now,
I will say it for you
Good Bye.

P.L. Rao
1st Feb. 2009

Hopes

Everything changes
and the truth turns away
to protect those little dreams
from the touch of the world
To let them be
as there are meant to be
at peace, complete
in silence
For them to exist
as all of them have,
in the hold of the universe
rotating, revolving
still,
like the stars,
dancing, spinning
turning
laughing
playing,
each in her own place,
in the universe.
Here we are.
Priyanka
26th March 2009

Universe

O Yesu
the breathing
in and out
of the layers of atmosphere
the heat the dust,
the cold the damp,
the green the red,
Through our bodies
as if we are a part
of it all
And to know, somehow
that we are.
The vastness of every thought
of every image,
every movement
every sound
flows so swiftly past,
That is barely has time
to leave an echo
behind.
And the pounding of my heart
racing in the beauty,
So many gifts
You have set upon me,
the images cast forth
like the rising Sun
for all to see.
And how much I want
to be the drum
upon which are beat
those eternal rhythms of celestial madness
and fire.
To fly on the waves
of that glorious sea.
To give these images
to the ravaged store
of ink and paper,
Lying in the vast open arms
of age old History. .
O if only you could let me be
a carrier of this legacy,
to walk upon the garden lanes
and trim and water
the growing trees,
which grow so big
and wise and old
whole and complete
and free
and happy.

P.l. Rao
10th April 09

To Get Beyond

You don't have to give.
It will get taken from you
The amount that is gone
will always remain
in the air, like the fog
of a dried up ocean
So breathe
breathe it in,
breathe again, and let it go
to a faraway place
just around the bend
which is waiting
without waiting
for you.

P.L.Rao
15th January 2009

To be

To be a poet
is to see through the painting
of your eyes
and to hear
through the poetry
of your ears
and to sing the songs
of your heart

Priyanka
January 26th '09

The Flood of the Forest

The trees crash down
upon the others
crawling with creatures
of teeth and feathers

Lightning attacks
like angry sunlight
tearing at the leaves
with ravenous appetite

Insects scuttle
among the chaos
fear and greed
fill their brain mass

The rainwater’s strength
saturates the skin
numbness fills
the bodies within

The wet wood’s pungence
fills frozen nostrils
mixed with the coldness
of the deepest evils

The thunder’s booms
Are buried by rustling
of a thousand leaves
thrashing and shaking

White light glows
upon the air
shadows dueling
everywhere

The trees that shake
among the dead
stand on to challenge
what next the storm bred

Terrible winds
clawed at the branches
hurling them down
as terrible lances

Flying paws
of some powerful creature
drowned by the crash
of a falling trees power

The rushing of leaves
the booming of thunder
the crashing of trees
falling asunder

creaking of trunks
moaning of lumber
howling of wind
shrieking its hunger

Trapped she was
in the flood of the forest
witness was she to war of the bravest . . .

Her prison of trees
lay unheeded
enraptured was she
by this War unabated

Dreadful it was
raging about her
yet in it she saw
terrible beauty alive in the horror

All of those people
dancing in the Sun
who would ever know
when it had begun?

No one would know
when it was won
No one would know
when this epic was done

In a War without hatred
but only fear
In a War that only changes
the soul with an ear.

Escape was estranged
this was the place
death was accepted
on her intoxicated face

But could she leave
this tale untold?
To all the world
would it never unfold?
* * *
Once upon
A winter’s day
Ignorant footsteps
tread light and gay

Unaware
of the terrific past,
When something of interest
was seen as he passed-

Under the ferns
upon the moss
lay a page
runes running across

A knee did bend
a hand reached out
to read the letters
to yet find out . . .

A sudden wind
rushed into the light,
as if a ghost
of that terrible night.

Across the page
A story lived
The Flood of the Forest
was relived.

And finally came
the ending lines
faded
but lasting through all times

‘I’ve used my ink
I’ve done my duty
Tribute has been paid
to this torrent of beauty.’
P.L. Rao
17th October 2006

Naked

So, you're taking the credit?
Take all you want
I don't need it.
Take from me
these flowing clothes
Tear them from
my burning skin
All you need
To cover the world
Gift-wrapped for another soul
To sleep in
and dream their restless dreams.
I'm going to an appointment with stars
And I'll bring them with me
when I swim back
through the ocean
of twisting emotions
And light the trees
with starlight
so the kings and queens
can find their way
through the gardens
to pick the fruits
of human dreams
and chat with the fairies
Till its time to go home
and sing the gravitational
songs of the wind,
And wake up the adventurers
Tempted with a breathe of mountain spices
before they disappear
with the tides
of the blue blue sea.
Priyanka
24th January 2009

Illusion

Beauty, o!

You treacherous thing

I live for you

You are my being

But I’m peeling away

like cloth from a wall

catching the winds to

abort my fall

Bondage to a wound

I am coming away

from drying blood

and flesh in decay

Coming to float

on the tips of a pond

fresh chill of the water

then I’m floating beyond

Falling away

what a beautiful thing!

the scraps coming loose

and into nothing . . .

The buzzing of a fly

or perhaps it is crying-

the screaming of my heart

-it still thinks this is dying

And perhaps it is

I wouldn’t know

I’ve been here too long

Its time to let go

A storm seems to follow

As I’m flying away

Chasing me down

I’m turning to clay

I’m standing underwater

Before a full jury

‘Here they are- you’re rights and duties,

Get along now, we’re all in a hurry. '

Oh, what in the world?

I was flying through space

‘No, no,’ they assure me

‘now put on your face.’

So I pull on with work

Now life is so heavy

I look for strength

But I’m all cut free

All the holds are gone

where they used to be

I let go of the past,

Now there’s nothing left of me.

Its all a cheat

Its never fair

beautiful fabric of being-

my life’s just a tear.

I scream

I want to die

would it get me anywhere?

I can’t even try

'Let go, let go'

they stare at me

I’ve nothing to hold

except this key

Ah, but see me scream

love my tears

O trap of lies-

you feed me fears

You tear me from the wall

shred by shred

Not again, no-

I wish I were dead

Tearing burning

through the seams

You’re turning out the lights

in all of my dreams

I’m falling falling

falling free . . .

Isn’t this once

where I wanted to be . . .?

P.L.Rao

14th January 2009